Oh. Oh Really? Okay. Great. Nahhh..... Whoa!

That's what my brain said in short order at about 2:30 this afternoon.

I left a message with SW today. She called me back at about two, which tells me she was out and about on (probably) a home study. Sounds good to me.

First, after amenable greetings and exchanges, I said I'm a hair away from finishing up our profile. I'll tell you in a minute what she said in response to that.

I asked her about getting a copy of our home study; I want to say she "bristled" but she sort of said that it wasn't generally done, because if we were applying to this or that or going through other agencies, these people/entities would need a copy from the Agency (duh). No, I said; it's strictly for our use, our file. I slid in a little snarky comment that we had paid for it, why shouldn't we have it? Oh, she sort of said, then I'll talk to A, it shouldn't be a problem.

WTH? Home studies aren't cheap. We paid for that sucker.

Then I asked about being added to the state adoption registry. I need to send her extra hard copies to her to send to the State that she'll include with a copy of our home study. What the hell, I figure - why exclude every road? Having dealt with the State on various matters relating to adoption now and again at work, I'm still cynical about it. But God has managed to take care of us, and I have to have faith in that.

It's like applying to a position in the government: be careful what you apply for, you might just get it.

~~

The barn burner was what she casually mentioned when I said I was almost done with our profile. By the by, she sort of segued, we had a child come through Agency yesterday. She was sorry that she didn't have our profile, as B, the person who facilitates these things there, certainly would have shown it. She proceeded to tell me the information on the child just for conversation, which I found rather cool.

So these are three thoughts that crossed my mind as SW and I chatted were as follows, not in any particular order, and certainly not with this coherence:

1) The child had been exposed to marijuana. I haven't yet gotten around to the research on this, but it stands to reason that if the mother toked during the pregnancy, it's more than likely she did other things as well - alcohol, tobacco, perhaps exposure to (if not use) of harder drugs. As SW said in general conversation at our home study with a roll of her eyes, "Oh, no, birthmothers never lie." Ayup. I would have paused if we'd gotten a call, because if pot was involved, it's likely other things were, too. It would be a hard think.

2) The child was part Indian. I know that different tribes have different takes on the Indian Child Welfare Act in terms of, for lack of a better word in my head at the moment, enforcement, but I don't know at what point someone is a member of a tribe, or at what percentage of one's heritage the ICWA applies, so this information about this child gave me pause since I didn't know if the child had been born on tribal lands, or if one of the parents belonged to one of several local tribes. And because I'm not yet well versed in the insies/outsies, I would not be comfortable with this.

Between this and the pot issues, I probably would have passed, at least at this early stage.

But as we were chatting, I had this delicious frisson of excitement. Wow, brushing so close, so fast! Can you imagine if we'd finished the profile before we'd left for DC, then come home to that? Wow! But it's okay... like I told SW, it's just not our turn, not meant to be, not yet.

She was surprised at my pleasant attitude. I didn't get into the fact that the last dozen years of my life has been a series of things that were just fate, timing, kismet, whatever you want to call it. I'm not daunted.

But here's the one thought that blazed through my mind after I hung up and processed what she said:

3) HOLY SHIT! I'd better kick DH out of his office, soon!

Because as those of here in Blogoland know, you NEVER know when The Call will come in, or from where. I want to be at least somewhat prepared. Don't have to be 10 for 10, just ready to put things in gear and fill in the holes.

Oh yeah, we're not close to ready for that. I need to kick him out of that room, amalgamate his crap with mine and be back to where we were five years ago, in the same home office.

I need to paint the room, and try and talk him into getting rid of the ghastly carpet that runs through the house. Then I need to make (more!) curtains, and buy a 4-in-1 convertible crib/bed and start prepping everything. From there I can collect things.

Wow. It seems more real. Holy crap! =D