Free Falling... Who Will Catch Me?

I finally sent the bulk email with our profile attached to probably thirty people, from folks from the old neighborhood to newer friends. I'm not sure why I was filled with... oh, I don't know... what, fear? Nerves? Trepidation? Insecurity? Anxiety? Jitters? Fretting? Maybe it's a little bit of all of those. Perhaps it's also a little bit of that thing called fear of the unknown. It's that leap out of the plane, hoping that after the first bit of free falling the parachute will open as it should.

I say it that way because after I said a little prayer then pressed send, the song "Free Falling" ran through my head.

I wanna free fall out into nothin'

Gonna leave this world for awhile

And I'm free, free fallin'*

Yeah... "free fall out into nothin" describes the nervous rush I felt after Gmail told me that my email had been sent successfully.

Maybe it's a little bit of intimidation because of the fact that complete strangers will read the profile, read our nascent website (which is NOT a mirror of the profile), and that I'll get an email that starts, "My name is ____. I read your profile, and I really liked it," followed by a story about how this writer is pregnant or had a baby already and cannot raise the child.

And then it will be 'OMG' time.

Silly, I know. And there are many of you who have already been there, that terrifying first contact. I know that trembling craziness passes. I know it does, especially once it gets past the tentative feelers and shyness when meeting someone new whose face I will have yet to see - for of course, they have seen mine. I wont' have seen theirs yet.

Add to this that I sent out six letters to lawyers yesterday. I expect feedback probably around Wednesday with the information I seek.

I also need to call the first lawyer (Boss's pal) and set up a meeting.

I still need to print out and assemble more profiles. I'll do that tomorrow.

I have also gotten the first two pages of our website up. If you want to look, drop me a note by email over there in the right column. You have to be someone I know via this blog, who also has a blog I have linked to or read or follow at this time. Sorry. I have to retain some privacy here at this locale. ;)

It's scary, knowing that we're out there, that the ball is rolling, and that the ball you've set in motion may wind you up in places you never dreamed of.

Yikes!

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*Thanks, Tom Petty, who happens to be one of DH's favorite artists