50th Blog Post – The Latest Not-News

Well, I’ll be darned. I’ve survived 50 posts and well over 2000 hits.

Wellll, isn’t THAT special?!

Thanks to all who drop by and say hi and leave a comment, and thank you to my lurkers from far and wide – and from some really surprising places in the world! Thank you so very much.

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Yesterday, on a lark, I contacted an attorney my office has worked with on an adoption case, asking if I could forward her a copy of our profile. Her response? “I would be more than happy to hold your profile to show to birth mothers when the opportunity presents itself. Please do forward 5 copies to my [city in the valley] office address. As far as other private adoption attorneys in … County, I would suggest contacting [she listed two attorneys]. In … County [further north in the state], I would suggest contacting [a third attorney]… Keep in mind that these attorneys most likely charge a nominal fee to hold a profile. I do not. So do not be taken by surprise.” I thought that was supremely awesome - both the "yes" and the advice. It really made my day yesterday.

Earlier today in our Gmail account dedicated to the adoption roller coaster, I received a response from Catholic Charities after I sent an inquiry. They relayed the date for an information session that they have people/couples go to prior to acceptance in their Child Placement Program. I can deal with that.

Then, in the mail not thirty minutes ago, I got a response from Boss’s friend (he referred me). I knew that some attorneys charge to hold a profile to be shown, but this pal of my boss has a requirement of meeting with him for a flat $100 fee. On one hand, I’m miffed – adoption’s expensive enough. On the other hand, it’s a weeding process if you think about it. If you’re serious, you’ll set it up, and that way the attorney in question can get a feel for the persons adopting, and probably be able to match better once the attorney and the adoptive folks have met. The best thing is that Boss’s friend also sent a list of other adoption attorneys to send profiles to, one of which was on the first attorney’s list as well.

Besides, really, what's $150 on this road?

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I dropped the five copies of the profile in the mail to the first attorney just before I went by the mailbox on the way home.

When I was stuffing the envelope, I realized that I’d have to get more profiles printed. Oh, darn, what a problem to have. =D

If Blogger had a status field for each post, I would feel “accomplished.”

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Unlike several here in our “adoption blog family” who are going through agencies, we’re heading to the private adoption route, which means we have to do our own networking. That’s okay, and I realize that it goes with the territory. I’m just very wary of agencies that want a big chunk of change at the beginning and seem to slowly drain the PAPs dry afterwards. I’d rather that the money go directly to the hands it’s supposed to without it being siphoned off somewhere.

(I warned you about my cynicism - no comments from the peanut gallery!) =D

Now, before you get your britches bunched up, I know that agencies do the networking for you. I know that there are valid expenses that the money one pays meets. I understand that the fees cover all sorts of services. Trust me – I understand.

Yet the decision to go this route is primarily financial. I hear of a lot of money changing hands when folks go through agencies. Friends of Boss tell of exorbitant prices they’ve either been quoted or have been paid, and Boss drops his jaw in horror. He’s of the opinion that adoption shouldn’t ever be so expensive.

It’s not personal interest on Boss’s part that causes me to take his advice – after all, he’s offered his legal services for the adoption to us for no charge – he is part of a grassroots anti-abortion organization and advocates adoption over abortion. In fact, he said to me today, “There are two million loving people certified and ready to adopt in this country. If there are a million abortions a year that instead are carried to full term and adopted out to these loving homes, why would we have abortion in the first place?”

This isn’t a new thought/saying/concept, of course, but it is one very topical to us here in our adoption blogosphere. If you validate that stance, though, then it stands to reason that it would be to everyone’s advantage that the next step is that adoption needs to be made affordable. The money that will eventually go out for our own adoption gives DH mental hives. One cannot get away from court costs, attorneys fees, counseling expenses, medical costs, etc.

If you cruise the internet with some of these online agencies (and in one case takes the form of a blog) that list available children, I have seen fees anywhere from $20K to $50K, and, on one site that sticks in my mind, nearly all of them had some sort of drug and/or alcohol exposure, and in many cases extreme exposure. These insane prices, if out of your state, do not include ICPC processing (which of course costs money somewhere), your travel, your hotel, the attorneys fees, and so on. Really? $50k fee to adopt a child in the US? No. This crap should be illegal.

Make it affordable, people! You take away the profit, you take away the temptation for these extremely unethical prices and likely scams.

Just sayin'...

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In any case, I have some more networking to do. I’m just getting started on the attorneys. I still have to get the business cards made up to plaster everywhere. I’m still hanging on to the stupid email because (as I said) something in the composition isn’t right.

I have all these avenues waiting for me, so I’d better hop to it!