At the beginning of this week, I got my second email contact, this time off of one of the free parent profile sites. Unlike the first contact (see a previous post) where I had the gut feeling that the storyline was off, I was curious but cautious. I replied with something to the effect that 'since you know about us, tell us a little bit about you.' I didn't get a reply for awhile. I wrote it off.
When the reply did come two and a half days later (three by the time I logged in), that's when it started to bother me. Flawed grammar, atrocious punctuation - that's not what bothered me. I know that not everyone can be a grammarian/writer/English major/etc, so I discounted that. No... there was something about the attempt to evoke pity that's a little over the top, references to herself that are a little off, and this weird single-mindedness about placing the child with us and nobody else that made me very wary. The verbiage and syntax was much like the spam emails we all get. It seems to me that the aim is to pull someone who is ignorant of the ways of adoption, and/or perhaps to sucker someone whose desperation is compromising their judgment.
Of course, when one is doing one’s first attempt at screening contacts, being wary is a fine attribute.
Then, late last night, I Googled the email address and got a curious hit. On one hand, it’s possible that it’s a legitimate situation, but on the other, it was a really really weird hit... let’s just say it puts this contact somewhere in the Middle East. It also made me think that her name is not as she stated. It also put into my mind that this is a chain-yank.
So I’m torn between calling this person out and letting the exchange die. Whaddya think?
When the reply did come two and a half days later (three by the time I logged in), that's when it started to bother me. Flawed grammar, atrocious punctuation - that's not what bothered me. I know that not everyone can be a grammarian/writer/English major/etc, so I discounted that. No... there was something about the attempt to evoke pity that's a little over the top, references to herself that are a little off, and this weird single-mindedness about placing the child with us and nobody else that made me very wary. The verbiage and syntax was much like the spam emails we all get. It seems to me that the aim is to pull someone who is ignorant of the ways of adoption, and/or perhaps to sucker someone whose desperation is compromising their judgment.
Of course, when one is doing one’s first attempt at screening contacts, being wary is a fine attribute.
Then, late last night, I Googled the email address and got a curious hit. On one hand, it’s possible that it’s a legitimate situation, but on the other, it was a really really weird hit... let’s just say it puts this contact somewhere in the Middle East. It also made me think that her name is not as she stated. It also put into my mind that this is a chain-yank.
So I’m torn between calling this person out and letting the exchange die. Whaddya think?
5 comments:
I would just let it go. I think when it comes to this whole thing, we just "know" when something is right or wrong. If you don't feel it in your heart that this is right, let it go.
I know you may not want to hear that - I know you want a match - a birthmother - a baby. But you have to trust yourself in this process. I would let this pass and wait for the right opportunity.
If you have a bad feeling about it, then go with your gut.
I say let it die. Go with your gut.
I definitely say let it die. If it's already looking shady, and your gut is sending you warnings, you know the answer. Unfortunately, there are going to be a lot of those.
Erica
I would let it die. I would be SO tempted to drag it out and ask questions and try to find out more...knowing that it is almost positively a hoax.
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