Surrealism, Adoption Style

Soooo... we met with the PBM yesterday. We had been warned that she was defensive and prickly and liked to cuss for shock value, but she apparently decided to show us her best side; she was responsive and sometimes even really funny. It went very well. We met, the facilitator went over what will happen at the hospital, fielded questions, and asked PBM to clarify her exposure to certain substances.

When I spoke to the facilitator on Monday, she said that there was no way I would be in the delivery room. Listen – I’m not one to insist on it. I used to be an EMT, I’ve seen my share of blood, guts and gore. And if PBM’s dealing with it in the best way she can in her circumstances, and doesn’t want me in there, then I’ll be the first to respect her wishes.

She did an abrupt about-face yesterday. She wants me in there. Facilitator asked her what f the hospital only allows two people, and she said that her friend was out and I was in. I wanted to just goggle at her in surprise.

For me, it was strange. I was pretty nervous going in, but coming back to the office I was completely calm; even Boss commented on how calm I am. Calm, but cautious. I think it’s going to go through; so does facilitator and Boss. Even DH is relatively confident about it. I think we can safely say that this is going through.

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I swung by my dad’s house on the way home. We chatted for a little bit, then I said, “Well, Dad, I have to tell you that it’s very possible that you will have two grandchildren born within a short time span.”

His eyes went wide, then faded, then he did a triple take.

He smiled hugely.

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I was hoping that DH wouldn’t tell his parents until today, but he said, “I had to tell someone.” So I’m on the phone with MIL last night and she’s giving me this shit about the old wives tale about how cats harm babies. I clenched my teeth and closed my eyes.

That’s the kind of shit I *don’t* need.

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When I talked to my sister last night, she was surprised and then extremely excited. I asked for her help: my brother and sister in law are having their baby boy sometime this week also. Did she have any clue what they were naming their son? I need to know in case it’s a boy. Lord knows we don’t need two grandchildren named James. You know, she got all coy and crap, and it really pissed me off. I have no control over anything right now, and this is something I need control of, and she’s playing games! I’m so pissed.

No, I’m not close to my little brother (little, ha – he’s 35) or his wife. I’m not comfortable calling them, especially this close to her delivering. It’s going to be bad enough that my brother will get it in his head that we’re doing this to upstage them, when everyone else knows we have absolutely no control of this situation.
I just needed a simple answer – even an initial! Jeez! I just need to know. Why do people make stressful situations so hard?

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So now it’s down to work: I’m going to start with a car seat and work my way around, as well as kicking around names and narrowing down lists. It’s all so sudden (yeah I know, Bri, I know! LOL), shocking, mind-blowing, and I’m still absorbing it, so if I don’t exactly sound euphoric, please forgive me.

On Monday I was stunned, Tuesday was the big meltdown, Wednesday was recovery from the meltdown, Thursday morning was tension and afternoon was calm and placid; last night was full of frustration from MIL and my sister. Now, today, I'm drained, and it seems a little unreal, you know? Today is like, 'is this really happening?' and I can't believe that I'll be actually buying a baby car seat (hopefully) this afternoon, then other things from there.

I mean, I can't believe that I'll be choosing an outfit to bring the baby home in.

Holy crap!