Bummer. I lost a follower. I hope that I didn’t offend him/her. I’m sorry if I offended, even inadvertently – but I have to tell the story; I can’t hold back how we got here.
Good news like this, especially when our profile hasn’t been out that long and get a placement, will hurt someone no matter how I couch it. As anyone on this journey knows, once your profile is out there, it’s out of your control. Believe me, we’re as shocked and surprised as anyone else!
Good news like this, especially when our profile hasn’t been out that long and get a placement, will hurt someone no matter how I couch it. As anyone on this journey knows, once your profile is out there, it’s out of your control. Believe me, we’re as shocked and surprised as anyone else!
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Hokay… The Boy is napping after eating, and I've only had pinches of time in which to write The Story. Hmmm… let me see. Told that, told that… hmmm. Let’s do topics.
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The Call
Ayup, I posted about the facilitator calling on Monday 9/28/09 that a young lady liked our profile and would like to meet us, the impartation of information, and my subsequent meltdown.
The Unhelpful Advice
As soon as DH told his mother, she started in on the old wives’ tale of cats harming babies. She also started pounding on – not politely suggesting, but full-on, all day every day nagging – about feeding the as yet unborn (and unplaced) child breastmilk from a bank. WTF? We haven’t even got the baby in hand yet! Give me a break!
The Meeting
11:30 on 10/1/09, which I already wrote about in a previous post. Very nervous on the drive in to the meeting. Contrary to the expectations of Facilitator, PBM was calm, polite, and had a great sense of humor. Things go well, including PBM changing her mind about not having anyone in the delivery room – she said clear as day that she had no problem with me being there. She gives the green light. I am so calm on the drive back to the office that when I get there, even Boss remarks upon it. I get out of work late but still get a chance to scout out things at Buy Buy Baby (which rocks, btw) and Target. I buy nothing.
In hindsight, we should have seen the conflict with Facilitator coming. She was strangely threatened by DH; he made her nervous. No idea why. He is the most gentle, kind, mellow person on the planet.
The Panicked Scramble
As of that date, we now had a match and had to get some things. I did more scouting on Friday (10/2), bought some little necessities like onesies.
On Saturday morning (10/3), we shoved his desk into my home office, and we’re back to both being in one room as a home office, as it used to be. The guest room is still a disastrous dumping ground that I’ll have to fix sooner rather than later. What would be The Boy’s room was then cleared of crap and cleaning up began. We wouldn't finish it today.
Later on Saturday, we bought a pack and play with the crib insert and, after research on the Consumer Reports website and other reviews, bought a Graco travel system. The fact that the Bed Bath and Beyond coupons are accepted by Buy Buy Baby (love the name of the place – refreshing honesty) is a wonderful thing.
It felt very odd and unreal to be there with DH - not for other people, as it's been for for years, but for us, finally; he expressed as feeling like he was a character in a play, and this not being real. I myself felt like a poser. It was all very strange.
As of Saturday night, we had only told that small circle I referred to in another post: the parents, a small pool of people on his side and a small pool on mine. It was a need-to-know basis until things actually looked as if they were going to happen. I did, however, finally run my oldest friend down and she met me at the Target near her house after she got off of work. SHE was the one I needed to talk to, the one I know understands. While I was telling her the saga thus far, I was picking out bottles, binkies, PJs, lotion, wipes, and so on to have at least the basic things.
I said to her, dear T – dear friend who I’d trust with my life – that my gut is telling me that BM won’t make it to the 10th, and, worse, that we won’t make it through the weekend. Said gut feelings were also telling me it was a boy; this is how I'd felt on Thursday, and I told her so. She was the first one to give me sound advice, as she has two boys of her own.
We sat at a Crapplebees for another hour after shopping. What I had to admit, though, was that after the roller coaster ride since Monday, I was completely tapped. I was shot mentally, which rolled into the physical. “Get some sleep,” suggested Madam Captain Obvious.
Actually, once I got home and putzed around on the compy a little, I went to bed and, rare for me, fell right asleep.
To be continued.
Ayup, I posted about the facilitator calling on Monday 9/28/09 that a young lady liked our profile and would like to meet us, the impartation of information, and my subsequent meltdown.
The Unhelpful Advice
As soon as DH told his mother, she started in on the old wives’ tale of cats harming babies. She also started pounding on – not politely suggesting, but full-on, all day every day nagging – about feeding the as yet unborn (and unplaced) child breastmilk from a bank. WTF? We haven’t even got the baby in hand yet! Give me a break!
The Meeting
11:30 on 10/1/09, which I already wrote about in a previous post. Very nervous on the drive in to the meeting. Contrary to the expectations of Facilitator, PBM was calm, polite, and had a great sense of humor. Things go well, including PBM changing her mind about not having anyone in the delivery room – she said clear as day that she had no problem with me being there. She gives the green light. I am so calm on the drive back to the office that when I get there, even Boss remarks upon it. I get out of work late but still get a chance to scout out things at Buy Buy Baby (which rocks, btw) and Target. I buy nothing.
In hindsight, we should have seen the conflict with Facilitator coming. She was strangely threatened by DH; he made her nervous. No idea why. He is the most gentle, kind, mellow person on the planet.
The Panicked Scramble
As of that date, we now had a match and had to get some things. I did more scouting on Friday (10/2), bought some little necessities like onesies.
On Saturday morning (10/3), we shoved his desk into my home office, and we’re back to both being in one room as a home office, as it used to be. The guest room is still a disastrous dumping ground that I’ll have to fix sooner rather than later. What would be The Boy’s room was then cleared of crap and cleaning up began. We wouldn't finish it today.
Later on Saturday, we bought a pack and play with the crib insert and, after research on the Consumer Reports website and other reviews, bought a Graco travel system. The fact that the Bed Bath and Beyond coupons are accepted by Buy Buy Baby (love the name of the place – refreshing honesty) is a wonderful thing.
It felt very odd and unreal to be there with DH - not for other people, as it's been for for years, but for us, finally; he expressed as feeling like he was a character in a play, and this not being real. I myself felt like a poser. It was all very strange.
As of Saturday night, we had only told that small circle I referred to in another post: the parents, a small pool of people on his side and a small pool on mine. It was a need-to-know basis until things actually looked as if they were going to happen. I did, however, finally run my oldest friend down and she met me at the Target near her house after she got off of work. SHE was the one I needed to talk to, the one I know understands. While I was telling her the saga thus far, I was picking out bottles, binkies, PJs, lotion, wipes, and so on to have at least the basic things.
I said to her, dear T – dear friend who I’d trust with my life – that my gut is telling me that BM won’t make it to the 10th, and, worse, that we won’t make it through the weekend. Said gut feelings were also telling me it was a boy; this is how I'd felt on Thursday, and I told her so. She was the first one to give me sound advice, as she has two boys of her own.
We sat at a Crapplebees for another hour after shopping. What I had to admit, though, was that after the roller coaster ride since Monday, I was completely tapped. I was shot mentally, which rolled into the physical. “Get some sleep,” suggested Madam Captain Obvious.
Actually, once I got home and putzed around on the compy a little, I went to bed and, rare for me, fell right asleep.
To be continued.
5 comments:
I think it's great that you got a match early :O)
Ah geez! I was just getting into the flow of the story!!
WHAT? You stop there?! The suspense is killing me! I lost a follower this week too - maybe we both offended the same one! ;)
Love it! Can't wait to read the rest!!
Our first match came early on as well...we hadn't even finished our homestudy but the social worker wanted to show us anyway. We had five weeks in between meeting the birthmother and getting the call that she had changed her mind. She ended up having the baby on a Saturday, using a different name in the hospital so they wouldn't call our agency and then finally notifying us on Wednesday. I don't think it helped that she had the baby the day before Mother's Day. Now we are back in the pool of parents waiting to be chosen again.
Your story is amazing, as all adoption stories are. It's magical, don't you think? Or just God's plan.
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